Hello Everyone! For those of you who have been with me for a while, welcome back! And for those of you here for the first time, welcome! I'm so happy you're all here!

This month I've been doing a lot self reflecting. I'll admit I've been struggling with some things, both in the realm of writing and outside. And I keep coming back to a quote I read in Half a Life by Darin Straus: "All things get done and you regret them and then you accept them because there's nothing else to do. Regret doesn't budge things; it seems crazy that the force of all that human want can't amend a moment, can't even stir a pebble."

Objectively we know, as smart human beings, that we cannot change the past. We can rewrite history in the telling of it, we can shift points of views, we can manipulate details to alter perception. But what happened is done and gone and simply cannot be changed.

And yet, we look back with such strong emotion, such strong desire with the advent of retrospect, that we long to go back and make a different choice, do a different thing. If only… If only… If only…

If only and What if are such dangerous thoughts. They are the devil that sits on your shoulder, whispering in your ear that both the past, which you cannot change, and the future, which you cannot know, are simply waiting to strike disaster. If only I had made a different choice. What if that choice comes back to bite me tomorrow? One can lose themselves in this circular thinking, succumbing to the tempting comfort and self-indulgence of trying to repair and prepare. Both of these are fruitless pursuits.

That’s not to say that I don’t indulge. I have spent many hours ruminating about the past and dreading the possibilities of the future. I’ve done this to such detriment that I’ve avoided certain choices altogether out of fear of the outcome. I’ve convinced myself that the mistakes I’ve made in the past define what right I have to happiness today and fortune tomorrow. I’ve determined that those choices are so cemented within myself that I am incapable of learning from them and am doomed to repeat them if presented the opportunity. So I if only/what if myself to avoid the confrontation entirely.

What kind of life is that?

Two years ago this month, I half chose and was half forced into not having a paying job. I had been jobless before and come out of it, but this time was different. I was determined this time to listen to my heart, which was desperately begging me to be honest with myself about what I wanted. When I finally listened, I found that the entire universe was practically screaming at me to jump into my dream, come hell or high water. Instead of if only and what if, I simply heard this: why not?

I have learned so very much about the power of why not. It has propelled me this far and keeps me going when if only and what if are barking so loud they are the only things I hear. But beneath their useless shouts I can hear the steady undertone: Why not try anyways? Why not learn from that and try something else? Why not believe you deserve this? Why not me?

The mistakes of my past still nip at my heels daily, if only, if only, if only. And the frustrated demand of what if still waits expectantly for an answer. But, after much everyday practice, the stoic why not grasps me by the heart and urges me forward through the underbrush, its simple refrain repeated: why not trust yourself?

Here's my update for this month:

I am so proud to announce that I did make my May 1st deadline to complete my manuscript! I clocked in at a little over 81,000 words. I even had notes for myself on what I want to focus on when I return to it in a few months.

I'm starting the editing process on the manuscript I wrote at the end of last year. It's been on my mind lately so I'm very excited to jump back into that with fresh eyes and a little help from my wonderful CT writing group. Thanks Heather and Rachael!

I was also successful in getting my newsletter in at the third place I was hoping to do so. Thanks to my mom, Linda, for the suggestion!

I continue to do a weekly book review. This past week (on May 10th) I had the delight of reviewing Hieronymous Jones and the Teacup Squid by a writer I know, Michael Palmer-Cryle. Check out my review here! (Spoiler alert, I loved it!).

Photo for this section courtesy of Valentin Salja via Upsplash.

As you know, here comes my absolute favorite part of the newsletter, the Peer Highlight!

I’m pretty sure I’ve said this in previous newsletters, and I know I will continue to say it in future newsletters, but I mean it every time. This month I’m so excited to introduce you to one of the most awesome people I’ve ever met, Kristine Laco. Aside from having the best name on the planet, she is hilarious, honest, hardworking and adventurous! I met her last year at the Writer’s Digest Conference (I met a lot of wonderful people there!) and we became instant besties!

Kristine has been in love with words for her entire life. Even an unfortunate experience with a childhood diary and a nosy cousin couldn’t stop her. She told me, “I took every English class I could without majoring in English and used words in my career in public relations and marketing. When our children got older, I chose to blog for myself. Make no mistake… a mommy blogger I am not.” But it wasn’t until non-family members began appreciating her writing that she seriously considered a career as a writer. Now, she writes humor and satire for a number of websites, including her own.

One of the most amazing things I learned about Kristine is that she is fearless. Many people have a “bucket list” and it sits and grows and very few items get checked off. But not for Kristine. She set a goal for herself to do not one, not two, but fifty – yes 5-0 – items on her list, all before she turns 50. Her 50/50 project has led her to try everything big and small: from juggling, goat yoga, and slacklining to more esoteric pursuits like dining in the dark, attempting to set a Guinness World Record, and reading tea leaves and tarot cards. And much to our benefit, she’s documented it all over at www.adultinginprogress.com.

But her pursuits weren’t just about completing tasks and experiencing new things. This whole adventure had a purpose. As Kristine says, “It was the job I created for myself to avoid slipping back into my comfortable couch and my familiar depression.”

Aside from combating her depression, what has all of this experience given her? She’s turning her adventure into a memoir! If you watch her videos and read her blogs, you can expect it to be funny. To keep her motivated and inspired, she heeds the brilliant words of Ira Glass,

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take a while. It’s normal to take a while. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”

For those of us who are still figuring all this writing stuff out – and I know we are numerous – these are wonderful words to hear!

Of course, none of us can pursue our dreams without a little help from those who love us. Kristine has a beautiful family that has been by her side through all of her adventures. Of them she reveals, “I have two wonderful teenagers, and I’m living proof that parenting teens does not lead to liver damage. My dog is as cool as F, and so are my friends. I’ve been married for 24 years, and many of those have been happy.”

I asked Kristine if there was anything else she wanted to add after the questions I had asked her, and I swear I didn’t tell her to say this, but it goes to show what a generous and wonderful spirit she has. This is what she said in a feature that is all about her, “Aside from having the best name ever, Kristine, Ms Donahue is one of the most supportive friends and fellow writers a scribe could have. I can’t wait to be holding one of her badass books in my hand and giving her a 5-star Amazon review.”

I’ve said it before and I'll say it again, I could not ask for better people in my life!

To see more of Kristine Laco’s work, visit her blog, Adulting In Progress, and check out her posts over at https://bluntmoms.com/author/kristine and https://www.sammichespsychmeds.com/mockmom/.

Know someone you'd like featured in the Peer Highlight? Send me a recommendation by clicking here!

Dolly Parton. Cultural icon, legendary musician. And early childhood literacy advocate.

Maybe some of you already know this, but I just found this out. Dolly Parton started the Imagination Library, a book gifting program for children from newborn to age five, as a tribute to her father, who was unable to read and write.

Started in 1995, Dolly intended for the program help her home county, Sevier County, Tennessee, and perhaps some of the surrounding areas. Twenty-five years later the Imagination Library has partners around the world, and as of March 2019 has delivered over 117 million books.

As she stated in this NPR interview from March 2018, “If you can read, even if you can’t afford education, you can go on and learn about anything you want to know. There’s a book on everything. So I just think that its important for kids to be encouraged to read, to dream and to plan for a better life and better future."

And Dolly, The Book Lady, isn’t stopping any time soon. She hopes to deliver a billion books in her lifetime!

To learn more about Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library please visit www.imaginationlibrary.com.

Photo for this section courtesy of Klim Sergeev via Upsplash.

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